Lifestyles of the Audacious

I have procrastinated enough on my Final Projects.
Time to focus on school now!

XOXO,
Blogger Girl
(That was for you Schmee)

I did something just now that I should've done a long time ago.  I hate feeling guilty, and I love being honest with people...  Because that's the type of person I know I am; honest.

On a not so honest note... My mother and I finished catching up on REVENGE (my new favorite show).  The last episode talks a lot about guilt and holding grudges.  It reminded me of a grudge I had held onto for a really long time.  For someone I don't even know!  For something so incredibly stupid!! And I held onto a lot of guilt because of something I had said to this person I don't even know.  It drove me crazy for a long time.  But now,  I'm ready to let go of it all.. and apologize.  Because it's who I am, and it's what I stand for.

And now I'm extremely tired, so goodnight ya'll!

I've known him for years.  I keep trying to figure out when I started to like him.  A part of me feels guilty because I wonder if I'd always had feelings for him but I was just really good at supressing them due to the circumstances of having a boyfriend?  Or had my thoughts of "Wow, what a great friend!" had just all of a sudden changed to "Wow, what an amazing friend that I have feelings for!"?  Or what if I was just feeling lonely, thus putting an illusion on him?  I'd like to think it's definetely not the third option.  1. Because I am not really a "rebounder".  It never really has been my style and 2. Because the whole "single girl" thing was and still is actually thrilling for me.  Either way, It's a strange feeling.  If I had to compare it in food terminology (because food is one of my most favorite things in the world) It would go a little like this:


McDonalds french fries... Salty, crunchy (or chewy, depending on how they cook them) goodness!!  They help cure the common hangover, and are good for days when all you want is to have an overload on carbs!



Wendy's chocolate malt... Chocolatey, thick goodness that melts in your mouth!! YUM!! My mouth is watering right now.  Good for the hot summer days, and also just good for when you're day is about to hit a low and you need a "pick me up".


Both VERY good treats on their own, right? !A M A Z I N G!

But let's say for some reason, you just decide to take two things, equally good on their own and put them together?  You're taking a chance with ruining two amazing snacks!  What if chocolate fries are disgusting... Oh, but what if it's SOOO GOOOD!?!?

Ya, that's what I'm feeling right now.  And no, its not hunger than I'm feeling!  Although.. ya maybe I am a little hungry now ;)



This post will have to be continued later because I just realized what time it is, so I am putting myself on a  "no more blogging until I get my studying done" order.

Thanks for reading,
TK

I am one lucky girl!!!  I'm so happy things are finally going the way they have been. 

If it weren't for me traveling down the wrong path, I wouldn't have learned how great the right path is...

I learned what it means to love,
now I can love

I learned what it means to be patient,
now I can be patient

I learned what it means to give
now I can give

I learned what it means to get trapped
now I can free myself and fly

and I learned what it means to be appreciated
so I let you go

now I'm learning what it means to enjoy
(and I think I've got it down)

I'm not much of a poet, sorry!

Thanks for reading,
TK

Weekends just aren't long enough to get the fun stuff done.  I get just enough time to finish work/school projects.  When will I ever get the time to be able to do my crafty/personal reading projects?  Who knows!?!?

As you probably assumed, I didn't get to finish my mosaic project!  Don't worry.  I assure you that I will get it done before I turn 50! (maybe) =)

I also didn't decide what I want to do with my mirror.. any ideas???  Seriously, if you take a look at my mirror (a couple of posts down) and think of something fun and creative to do with the frame of it, let me know!  I'm idea-less!

In case you were wondering...


I'm currently in my first semester of the Legal Studies/Paralegal Program.  There are a few things that I didn't expect to happen that are happening; 1. It's all going just a little too easy for me.  Some of the homework and reading can be a little time consuming.  But overall, I find myself wondering if I've forgotten to do things, or if maybe I didn't do a good job because it didn't take very long to do.  That scares me a little because I am usually the type that has to over exert my studying habits to pick up on what I'm trying to learn.  But I seem to be pulling it all off very well.  I think my lowest grade so far is a 98%.  2. I am loving a majority of the people that I spend most of my time with.  Because it's a specialized program that only allows certain people to take the courses, I tend to have a lot of courses with the same people.  I'm developing relationships with a few of them that I think will be lasting.

I started my internship back in the beginning of September at a criminal defense law firm.  Because I'm getting my bachelors in Criminal Justice, and I tend to always place myself on the side of the District Attorney, I find this role of criminal defense an amazing opportunity to really see both sides of the spectrum.  On top of that, I LOVE the lawyers that I am interning for.  And the paralegal is great!!  They are so down to earth and fun.  What I like most about them is how much they treat each other like family.  I have enjoyed getting to know them, getting to know how the office works, and getting to see some fun court "happenings".  I look forward to the rest of my semester with them!

I'm finally taking a vacation!! It's a ways away, but I am already counting down the days!! =)  I have yet to go to this resort, but I've heard great things!  And I believe I stayed at a sister resort of theirs during senior spring break.. Here's a pic of Sandos in Playa del Carmen


My marathon is less than a month away.  I am starting to get extremely nervous about it.  For the last week and a half I've been fighting off a minor chest cold.  I have had to use an inhaler in order to catch my breath after a long flight of stairs at school (That's extremely embarrassing to say, btw) but because of my lack of ability to breathe in and out, I haven't been running very much.  I have had this goal in my head to finish this HM with an average time of 8.15 miles.  I figure that's a good goal for the first one.  But I'm starting to wonder if my lack of running will affect my overall time!  As much as I'd like to get out there and run like crazy, I know I need to take things slow until my chest cold has put up its white flag!  Cross your fingers!  I want to be able to finish this HM with my goal accomplished!

I'd love to give more updates but I'm tired.  And I have all kinds of fun things I get to do tomorrow with work, interning ANNND school.  So long, folks!

I hope everyone has an amazing week!! Yay for the first week of FALL!!

Thanks for reading,
TK

I don't have much time to talk because I'm in super study mode which doesn't occur all that often!  :)  So I'll make this quick and to the point!

I really wanted to share this with my blog readers, because I know some of you are passionate about people like I am.

As most of you know, I work in a pediatrician's office.  I've worked there for six years now.  (wow, it feels weird to say that)  I love all the kids that go there; from newbies to the ones that probably should have switched to an adult doctor years ago.  They all have taught me something in one way or another.  But the patients that tend to affect me the most have been the patients who have been diagnosed and are going about their daily lives with autism.  There is one in particular (as you know I'm not allowed to mention any medical information and/or names due to HIPPA) who I love to see.  She brightens my day, and I think it has a lot to do with the fact that everytime I see her, she acts as though I am the one brightening HER day!  I have become close with her, to a point where I check to see when her next appointment is to make sure I can help check her in that day.  I believe that everyone has a special person in their life that helps us remember the important things in life; the true meaning of happiness.  She is my reminder.  If only she could come into our office on a daily basis, right?  Fortunately for her, she's healthy enough to not be in our office too often.  I have gotten to be familiar with a lot of diagnoses while working in the office, but I've always wanted to learn more about autism.  There is such a misconception out there due to all the celebrity books, faulty research, and people putting their "not so scholarly" opinion into professional journals.  So when I was pulling up a website and saw this, I got pretty excited...




Click on the link above for more information.

I know I'm excited to learn more about this diagnosis, but if you're interested, I strongly suggest taking some time out of your weekend to learn more, too!!  This event is October 7th and 8th!!

Thanks for reading,
TK

It's crazy, the things I find out even after all the time that has passed.  I thought I knew all I could about this person; the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.  Turns out some are much better at hiding things than I was aware of.  But than again, maybe I'm just naive like some say I am.  Am I hurt?  Yes.  Will I get over it?  In time.  One thing I enjoy about myself is this:  Ya, I might be naive, and I'm sure I don't always get what people's real intentions are in the beginning (or in the end for that matter).  But at the end of the day, I don't let negative people and negative experiences control me.  I will never allow myself to be jaded by the people that aren't true to themselves and others.  But maybe I should have been more cautious.  I knew this person's history because they were gracious enough to share it with me.  And even though most people would have taken that information and just pinned this person as a particular type of being, I didn't.  I used my "Innocent until proven guilty" motto like I do with everyone else.  Just because people make mistakes, doesn't mean they have to carry that mistake with them for the rest of their life.  So with me, I always do my best to keep everything a blank slate from the beginning.  I can't say that I'm always great at it, but I'm only human.  There were things that happened, instances that should have had a bright yellow sign saying "FLAG" in big letters.  But I trusted, and I'm okay with that.  There's nothing wrong with trusting.  All I can say is that I hope I don't have to be face to face with this person for a very long time.  I was able to forgive in my heart, but it will take time to forget.  Until then, I will go about my life; letting others in, and allowing myself to trust them as I did this person.

Sorry my post is a little brief, I wanted to take a break from studying, but I have to go back and hit the books a little longer!

Thanks for reading,
TK

When I was really down and out, Tyler, Lexie and I went to Pei Wei for some feel good food.  Of course I had a fortune cookie at the end! (Duh!)  the fortune cookie said "Your kindness is surely to be repaid."  That night I put it on my bathroom mirror to remind myself that no matter what happens in life, if you go about it in a positive manner, things will turn out better than you expected.  And so far, they have.  I don't mean to sound corny but I think God made sure that I got that little slip of paper in a really bad cookie.  I think it was his way of telling me I am going to be okay.  Here I am three weeks later.  I looked at the fortune today and smiled.  I have a great family, amazing friends, and have had so much fun meeting so many new people.  I'm having fun being me.  And my fortune was right.  My kindness is being repaid.  LIFE is being kind to me.  My life's not perfect, and it never will be.  But I think I can honestly say that if given the oppurtunity, I wouldn't change a thing.

Never thought such a small piece of paper could help me realize how great this big world is...

A friend of mine told me a couple of weeks ago that it's times like this when you learn who your true friends are.  Well she was absolutely right.  I'm not surprised to see the few people that don't care, haven't said a word to me since Chris and I broke up.  To be honest, I wasn't really expecting a lot of people to talk to me after the whole thing went down.  I know that I came into the circle of friends through Chris, So I was expecting to be sord of "pushed out" through Chris too.  Not that I'm saying he would tell everyone not to hang out with me.  I know he wouldn't do that.  Just saying, most people kinda go back to how it was before the "girlfriend" came into the picture.  But it's been really nice to hear from the one's I've grown to really enjoy.  The people that accepted me for who I was, and not just because I was their friends' girlfriend.  These last couple of weeks have been rough.  No matter how may day was; shitty, fantastic, so-so.. I was always excited to come home and tell Chris about it.  He is... was my best friend.  Now when I have something exciting (or not so exciting) to tell the world, all I want to do is drive home and tell him, or call him and tell him.  But it's not my home anymore.  And I can't just pick up the phone and dial his number anymore.  No not only was I scared of losing my best friend, I was scared of losing all the friends I had accumulated through him.  I also have a hard time with losing another family.  But it truly has been encouraging to know that through all this, I do still have those friends that I can call.  And they are here for me when I need them.  (Thank you girls!)

Zumba killed me once again.  I was sweating in places I never thought I could sweat.  Felt really good though, until I was walking to the locker room and saw Chris and Pat walking into the Gym.  Good thing I was done with class because I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.  I'm not sure if it was the high intensity of the class or seeing Chris for the first time in a while, but a couple of minutes and an empty stomach later, I felt miserable.  I started watching Sex and the City (Season two) lastnight, and it was an episode where Bigg and Carrie had a big break up (their first of many) and Charlotte made some comment about how it takes half the time of the relationship to get over that person.  Chris and I dated for a year and 10 months.  If that has any truth to it, this is going to be the roughest 11 months of my life!

Okay, I'm still wearing my very damp workout clothes, and I have a lot of unpacking/organizing to get to.  Not to mention I should really try to eat something.

Thanks for reading,
TK

Today SUCKED!!

I woke up to learning that Randy Hobbs passed away this morning.  He fought cancer for over two years.  The doctors didn't think he would make it six months, but he did.  Now he's in a much better place, living a much happier life, and waiting for the rest of us to come.  I think if he were to say something to me right now it would be something along the lines of "Take your time getting here, but when you do, let's drink a cold one and do a little donkey kickin"  Donkey kick is a dance that he always did.  Cracked me up! I never got enough of his strange dance moves!

I tried to get the last of my things from Chris' house, but when I got there it was quiet, and lonely, and a little empty.  I could hear everything my mind was thinking.  Unfortunately, that's not a good thing these days.  I couldn't concentrate because all I could think about was how I feel like my life is falling apart.  I know it's not.  I know that I'm fine.  But it just feeeels like it is.  I hate that.  I hate knowing that I'm fine but feeling like I'm not.  I wanted to badly to put all of Chris' things in order for him so that when he returned home this weekend, it'd be like I never lived there.  I didn't want him to have to come  home and move all of his furniture into his bedroom and see any of my things, but unfortunately I just couldn't do it.  Not only because I am physically unable to move his furniture by myself, but because it killed me to even be there.

I cried a lot today.  I know in my last post I talked about how getting me things out of the house was giving me closure.  Well that was yesterday.  But today it wasn't.  It was this feeling of "Oh my god, this is really it!"  And I hate that.  Those stupid "shoulda woulda coulda's" came rushing right back to me. Every day is like a part of a rollercoaster.  Yesterday was the up, today was the down.  When do I just get to go up?

From now on, I am making myself list a couple of things I look forward to.. whether it be things going on this week, or this month, or even this year.  That way I can focus on those things, instead of thinking about the past.

I look forward to my Zumba class tomorrow.  That class kicks my butt everytime.  Someday, I will kick it's butt!!

I look forward to Spanish III starting this week!!

I look forward to my dinner choices this week.. I'll let you know how they turn out.

I look forward to getting a little bit of strength back this week.

I look forward to Jeremy giving me more pain!!  Love personal trainers =)

Ok, it's bed time!!

Thanks for reading,
TK